Megan crossed her eyes as she studied the fork in the road before her, completely unsure which way to go. Squinting down once again at the haphazard directions her sister had scrawled quickly down the day before.
There was no mention of a fork, or the rapidly rushing creek that ran along the edge of this desolate country road.
“This is what I get for wanting a quiet vacation,” she groused. Why hadn’t she stayed in the city like all the other sane people? Why had she so quickly agreed to take the use of her brother in-laws family cabin?
Probably because her sister Robin was so enthusiastic about it being exactly what she needed.
“It’s perfect Meg! Beautifully rustic, but still with all the modern conveniences,” Robin had exclaimed. “You’ll love it! It’s a perfectly darling little place nestled back into the side of the mountains. You’ll take one look at it and want to paint it.”
Since Megan hadn’t painted anything in months the idea of the place sparking her dormant creativity proved impossible to resist.
So here she was in the middle of the back of beyond, totally and thoroughly lost in a blizzard.
Maybe it wasn’t exactly a blizzard but it might as well be if she found herself out of gas; a possibility that was growing with every wasted mile up and down these roads trying to find her way.
It would have been nice if her cell phone worked so she could call her sister and brother in-law for a few more detailed directions but no such luck. Cell service had been lost partway up the mountain and it didn’t look like it would be coming back on-line.
Shaking her head, Megan reflected upon the events leading up to her foray into the wilderness. Knowing it was her own growing dissatisfaction with her life and her inability to paint anything more than a daisy or two since her breakup with David.
There lay the crux of the problem. She missed him…his warm smile…loving embrace…she missed the ability to sit with him quietly in the evenings no need for small talk…it was a rare gift to be able to enjoy silence with another person. To be so completely in tune you were able to see the beauty in the stillness of the moment; to have such deeply shared camaraderie.
It was her own fault, Meg had rushed boldly in and shattered the silence she so treasured. She shouldn’t have told him about her darkest needs, shouldn’t have shared that secret part of herself.
It turned their silence into something awkward; a silence that stretched between them with questions left unasked and unanswered. Truthfully, Meg acknowledged if only to herself, she hadn’t really given him time to fully absorb her revelations. She’d let her own fear and shame drive a wedge between them.
Barely an hour after baring her herself so completely, she’d run away from him before he could do the unthinkable and reject her.
Meg had kicked herself repeatedly in the weeks that quickly stretched into months for not giving him a chance…for not trusting him, but she couldn’t bring herself to take a chance that he would understand.
She was basically a coward, there was no other word for it.
Meg had run away from him and then refused his every attempt at contact after making her startling confession. Better to reject him than to risk his rejection and contempt of her secret needs and desires.
Meg forcefully brought her mind back to the problem at hand, which way should she go? With a shrug, she decided on the fork to the right, the ever widening stream stretching lazily along the left side of the road.
The artist in her wanted to be able to see the beauty in the bounty of nature surrounding her but it all seemed flat and uninteresting. It was like the flame of creativity within her had been doused.
When Meg met David, her painting had taken on a new depth she’d never achieved previously and now she feared she never would again.
She slammed the door on that part of her as surely as she’d slammed it on him, leaving herself in a cold dark place void of anything meaningful.
Eyes scanning the road in front of her she was relieved to spot a small cabin nestled into the side of the mountain next to the rapidly flowing water now widened to more of a river than a stream. A frown marred her face as she noticed the warm glow of light in the windows and the curl of smoke rising from the chimney.
Maybe this wasn’t the cabin. It should have been empty. She would have to stop regardless and hope the people living here took pity on her, she was too low on gas to go any further without clear directions.
Meg didn’t want to risk being stranded on the mountain in a snow storm so she climbed out of the car and carefully trudged up the snow laden path to knock on the cabin door.
The door opened almost immediately and Meg was shocked to see David’s concerned features, “I was beginning to get worried. I thought you’d get here a couple of hours ago.”
“Wh…what…?” Meg stammered lamely.
He smiled, the same warmth filling his expression that had always made her feel so safe and loved. “I bet you’re freezing. Come on inside and let me fix you something warm to drink. I’ll get your stuff from the car when I have you settled in front of the fire.”
Nervous confusion kept her silent while he led her to sit on the couch in front of the roaring fire. Almost before she knew it he’d taken her coat and settled her with a cup of hot coffee from the pot in the kitchen. She sipped it, grateful for the opportunity to focus on something other than David.
She watched him over the rim of the cup as he brought in her bags from the car, when he turned to carry them upstairs Megan nervously cleared her throat to get his attention.
David turned to her with a raised brow.
“I…I don’t think I’m staying…it wouldn’t be a very good idea under the circumstances.”
He snorted and proceeded to carry the bags upstairs totally ignoring her words.
“David! I’m serious! Bring my bags back down here!” She rose to yell up the staircase at his rapidly retreating figure.
“Sit back down and drink your coffee Megan. You’re staying here with me for as long as it takes.” She shuddered at the implacability in his voice. David had never used such a firm tone with her before.
“You have no say in what I do or don’t do…,” she muttered to herself as she walked to look out the window at the snow covered mountain side.
“Meg, you don’t really want to push me too much right now.” He said from directly behind her, causing her to start at his words.
Spinning to face him she glared up at him, “I haven’t done anything to…”
“You ran from me,” he accused.
“I did not! I merely to the initiative to end things before they got…”
Firm hands grasped her arms lifting her to her toes so they were nose to nose, “Lie to yourself all you want, but do not expect me to allow you to lie to me. Not anymore. You ran pure and simple. You let me see something in yourself that you’d never shared with another person and it scared you.”
“You were horrified!”
“You didn’t give me a chance to know what I was. Before I could process the information you were gone! Then you spent the next two months refusing to take my calls or answer your door.”
“I knew what your reaction would be!”
“Really? Somehow I don’t think you did, unless you were afraid you’d get more than you bargained for,” he said thoughtfully.
Meg blinked, her mouth suddenly dry at his words but she straightened her shoulders. “I am not afraid of you!”
“No, you’re afraid of yourself,” he said baldly. Then with a sigh he released her arms, “Drink your coffee Meg.”
As she watched him walk away from her towards the kitchen Meg felt suddenly bereft. Angrily she brushed away the tears that were gathering in her eyes.
Retreating back to the couch she took refuge once again in the mug of coffee. David came back in and sat a plate of chocolate chip cookies down on the table in front of the couch before taking a seat next to her.
“I was proud of you,” he said quietly.
“Huh?” she frowned in confusion looking up into his eyes.
“It takes courage to admit a need for discipline in a relationship. So first I was proud of you, then I was awed by level of trust you placed in me…then before I could express what I was feeling you were gone. Then I was hurt and angry that you took it all away.”
Meg wanted to look away but she couldn’t, she was pinned by the emotion in his eyes. Everything was there, laid out bare for her to see…the love…the understanding…the need…the disappointment.
Then there were too many tears to brush away and she was in his arms cuddled against his chest as she sobbed out her confusion and fear. David simply held her and rocked her through the storm.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly against his chest.
David pushed her back a little and lifted her eyes to his with a gentle hand beneath her chin. “You weren’t running from me baby, I know that. You were running from yourself but there will be no more running in this relationship. If you’re scared we’ll talk about it and work through it. What you did was unacceptable. You hurt us both.”
Meg’s chin wobbled as she looked up at him, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what to do to make it better.”
“its okay baby, I do.” David stood her to her feet in front of him and unfastened her jeans.
Meg felt her tummy hit the floor, it was really going to happen. He was going to spank her! “David I don’t think…,”
“This isn’t your decision Megan. It’s mine. Trust me to know what you need to heal…what I need,” he said firmly as he pulled her jeans and panties to her knees in one smooth motion.
Though she’d been completely naked with this man too many times to count she’d never felt this exposed, this naked. Then he guided her gently across his thighs.
“How long are you going to spank me?” she asked nervously, shivering as his hand smoothed across her vulnerable posterior.
“As long as it takes,” was his simple answer.
The first swat made her jump as it echoed through the room imparting a gentle heat in its wake. It didn’t even really hurt. He continued spank her methodically. The sting of each swat began to build on the heat left before, as the sting grew it began to make her squirm.
While it still didn’t hurt, it was getting uncomfortable, “As long as what takes?” she asked nervously.
“Your complete surrender,” David said matter of factly.
He picked up the pace of the spanking, bringing his hand down harder and faster. Meg squealed and began to try to wriggle away from his hard hand. It was starting to really hurt!
“Okay! I surrender!” she cried as he peppered the soft under curve of her bottom.
David snorted and started to spank harder, “It’s not me you need to surrender to baby.”
“What?” she yelped.
“You need to surrender to yourself…your needs,” he said as he pulled her in tighter and scissored his right leg across hers.
Meg couldn’t do anything but feel as he spanked still harder and faster. She fought it, the building of emotion that seemed to be boiling up inside her as the heat in her scorched backside grew; she felt like she would spontaneously combust if he
“Please…stop!” she cried as deep sobs began to well in her chest, “No! Please….David!”
David steeled himself to push her just a little further, sensing she was almost there. Gritting his teeth he gave her the hardest swats yet, a series of searing smacks to her sit spot that left her gasping for air.
Meg felt something deep within her crack open and burst free. Suddenly she was hanging over his lap like a limp noodle sobbing as she let go. She let go of everything that was within her, surrendering it all.
The emotional release was complete, purging her of everything dark and lonely and filling her back up with warmth, love and safety. For the first time in her life Meg felt completely free.
David lay back with her on the couch cuddling her, stroking her hair his tears mingling with her own as she calmed.
Meg smiled through her tears, her bottom was on fire and she was sure it could glow in the dark but she was at peace.
“I love you David,” she whispered softly.
“I love you too baby,” he said as he pressed a tender kiss to the top of her head. “No more running?”
“No more running,” affirmed.
There was no more need to run. She was home.